Phanatic on Opening Day

The Phillie Phanatic let out a long, wet belch as he tossed his fourth empty beer bottle in the general direction of the trash can. The last of a bag of Cheetos--really just the cheese dust and some crumbs--teetered precariously on his legs. His oversized sneakers rested on a footstool. Darkness had fallen an hour ago, but the Phanatic was unable to convince himself to stand up to turn on the lights. Flickering, fluorescent images came from the television, where the Phanatic’s worst nightmare was coming true. The Phillies ran onto the field for Opening Day of the 2020 season while the Phanatic sat on his couch. A solitary tear fell from his eye and landed on the wrapper from his fast-food cheeseburger.

“It was torture, honestly,” the Phanatic said later during a socially-distant Zoom call with a reporter. “Seeing the boys run onto the field without my zany antics felt like my heart was being torn in two.”

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The Phillie Phanatic hasn’t always been the Phillie Phanatic, beloved mascot of the Philadelphia Phillies baseball team. As an elementary student, Phanatic faced near-constant bullying for his fuzzy green body, tubular nose, and close-set eyes. He laughs when he thinks about some of the jokes the other kids made. “Oh man, there were some good ones. They called me Phillie Phreak, Hula Hips, Green Monster. Kids can be so cruel.”

The Phanatic during a game in 2017

Fortune finally found the Phanatic when a stranger at a bus stop handed him a business card. The card advertised higher education for very special young people: MIT (Mascot Institute for Training). Phanatic called the number on the card and eventually went on a visit to the campus. “It was the first time I ever felt like I belonged,” he says. “It was a bunch of individuals like me--guys and gals who don’t fit in.”

MIT is, of course, the alma mater of mascotorial greats such as Ohio State’s Brutus Buckeye, the Padres’ San Diego Chicken, the Oregon Duck, Stanford’s Tree, and most recently, the Philadelphia Flyers’ Gritty. These spectacular young people were taught important skills of the mascot trade. “We went through courses on starting the wave, picking volunteers from the crowd, knowing when to cheer or boo, how to hold your hand up to your ear to encourage the crowd to get louder. Really, all the things a good mascot knows how to do.” But the toughest lesson the Phanatic learned was the nonverbal communication: how do you convince adoring fans that you’re happy, or sad, or shocked, or angry without using words? “There were a lot of tears in my senior-level Mimery and Descriptive Action course, that’s for sure,” the Phanatic says with a shake of his head.

The Phanatic’s hard work paid off and he was hired by the Phillies immediately after graduation. “I would say it’s a match made in heaven. It’s what I was made for. Seeing the smiles on the faces of young-uns and the eye rolls of fans in the front row as they try to look around me to watch the game--it’s indescribable. I’ll be forever grateful to that considerate stranger who introduced me to MIT.”

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But now, the Phanatic is facing the reality that he might have to find another way to support his family. COVID-19 has upended countless lives, perhaps none as drastically as those of MLB, NBA, and college sports mascots. “I keep hoping the phone rings, telling me it’s time to go back to work. But of course, I understand the need for safety.” When asked if he’s considered getting a second job, he sighs and runs his hand through his furry feathers. “I’ve certainly thought about it, that’s for sure. I’ll be fine for now, but I’ll always do what’s best for my family.”

Watching Opening Day on TV like a normal fan was surreal. Between beers and junk food, he did his best to help the Phillies from a distance. He rode his ATV around his studio apartment, shot hot dogs from a canon at the TV, danced goofily, and even attempted to “hex” the opposing pitcher. But alas, it wasn’t enough as the Phillies dropped the season opener to the Marlins, 5-2. With the abbreviated schedule of 60 games, each outing becomes more important. “Obviously, the boys need to play better if they want to make the playoffs. My greatest concern is that I can’t be there to help them.”

Flipping the script, several players have reached out to the Phanatic, encouraging him to keep his head up. Left fielder Bryce Harper even wore Phanatic-themed cleats on Opening Day as a tribute to the quarantined mascot. “I definitely appreciate all the support. It’s like the roles are reversed--normally I’m the one trying to keep the boys’ spirits up.”

The Phanatic is doing his best to be positive and look for a light at the end of the tunnel. When asked for his best-case scenario, the Phanatic shrugs. “I just hope we can move past this episode quickly and that there are no long-lasting effects. And I hope the boys can bring home another World Series, and that no other mascot has to go through this ever again.”