James and the Small Group

“Thanks for coming, James,” the Pastor Dave, the senior pastor said as he sat down in his chair, looking at James intently. Pastor Seth, the small groups pastor who was the third member of this meeting, avoided eye contact with James.

James had been nervously anticipating this appointment for the last few days. Pastor Seth had called a few mornings ago to request a meeting at the church. When James had asked about the reason, Pastor Seth had hesitatingly referred to wanting to discuss James’ role in the Young Parents Small Group. Feeling slightly proud of himself, James assumed he was going to be asked to take on more of a leadership role.

James, his wife, and their three kids had begun attending Pear Grove Community Church about nine months ago. James had attended church as a youngster, all the way up through high school, but had stopped when his job required him to work third shift on Saturday nights, making Sunday morning service quite the chore. But when their oldest son got caught looking at dirty websites (“he’s only 10, James!” Lindsay, James’ wife had lamented), they decided it was time to put religion in their family. They wanted their kids to grow up with some structure, a conscience, good morals. So they began trying out different churches, deciding on PGCC for its focus on children’s and youth ministry.

Once their kids were settled in the children’s ministry, James and Lindsay decided to join a small group. They went to the Connections Counter after service one week, met Pastor Seth, and filled out an informational card. A few weeks later, they received an email telling them they had been accepted into a small group and giving them details for the next small group meeting. That Friday, they showed up at a stranger’s house with chips and salsa (their contribution to that night’s carry-in meal), all three kids (who would be watched by a teenage babysitter along with all the other families' kids), and some trepidation that by showing up they were unintentionally joining a cult.

But at the end of the night they were allowed to leave, ensuring that it wasn’t a cult. In fact, James and Lindsay were both thrilled by how the meeting went. There was a warm and welcoming atmosphere at the house. The food was good, the environment was relaxed, and there was no pressure to be perfect Christians. There were a total of four couples, all around Lindsay and James’ age, all young-ish parents. After a long period of “fellowship” (which, to James’ untrained eye, was just eating together and chatting) the group gathered in the living room to watch a video lesson and answer discussion questions. The discussion was led by the hosting couple and centered around how the lesson impacted their daily lives. James and Lindsay jumped into the group with both feet, attending every Friday night, joining the hosting rotation, and participating in the active text-message group chat.

Though they were far from perfect, James and Lindsay began to grow in their faith. James attended a Bible study every Wednesday morning, and Lindsay joined a group for young mothers at the church on Thursdays. They began having family devotions most nights before bed and made Christianity an important part of their parenting.

Their main priority, however, remained the Young Parents Small Group. About seven months after James and Lindsay began attending, the group found themselves at the end of a video series and were trying to decide what to do next. James mentioned that he had just seen a devotional video on Facebook that looked really promising; maybe they should do that series next? James’ suggestion was greeted with enthusiasm, and the group quickly proposed that James and Lindsay lead the discussion for the series. James protested, claiming that they weren’t qualified to speak on Christianity as they were still pretty new to the faith, but the group would have none of it. Thus it was decided that James and Lindsay would be in charge at the next meeting.

For the next week, James and Lindsay worked hard to prepare discussion questions. They watched the devotional video three times, debating different points to focus on, eventually coming up with a list of eight questions to ask. When the night came, James was extremely nervous. He had never done anything like this, and was sure that his questions would be greeted with awkward silence. But to his delight, the discussion was lively and leading the group came easily. They led the group for the next two weeks to similar success.

Thus, when he got the invitation to a meeting with Pastor Seth and the senior pastor to discuss his role in the small group, James could only assume it was going to be positive.

Now, after seeing Pastor Seth’s body language and the grim look on Pastor Dave’s face, James wasn’t so sure.

“Did Pastor Seth fill you in on the purpose of this meeting?” the Pastor Dave asked.

“Not exactly, just that it was about my role in the small group,” James responded.

“Yes, essentially. Basically, we received an email from one of the members of your group telling us that you’ve been teaching the group. This is true?” Pastor Dave leaned forward and waited for James’ answer.

“Yeah, I’ve been leading the discussion questions. I haven’t been teaching, I guess, we’ve been watching videos and then we talk about it,” James said carefully.

“That’s great, and we appreciate when congregants step up and take leadership responsibilities. However, this group member was concerned because he wasn’t--”

“Or she,” Pastor Seth interrupted.

“--yes, he or she wasn’t sure of your baptismal status. Have you been baptized, James?”

“Yes, I was baptized when I was a baby. At St. Paul Lutheran,” James said, confused. The senior pastor looked at Pastor Seth, who grimaced.

“Have you been baptized as an adult?” Pastor Seth asked.

“No, not as an adult. Why? What’s wrong?”

The senior pastor pulled three copies of a pamphlet out of his briefcase, setting one in front of each of them. The pamphlet was labeled “Pear Grove Community Church Bylaws & Procedures, amended Sept. 2003.”

“Would you please turn to page IV, section 7.1?” the senior pastor asked, just as if he was asking the congregation to turn in their Bibles to the morning’s scripture. The threesome turned to the appropriate section, titled “Leadership Requirements.” Seth scanned the paragraphs, trying to penetrate the technical jargon.

“James, as you can see, we’re most concerned with the part that says ‘Anyone seeking to hold a leadership position, including teaching, discipling, or mentoring as a volunteer, must fulfill the following requirements: A. Be a member of Pear Grove Community Church in good standing; B. Demonstrate a life of personal faith that honors God in all areas; C. Have been willfully, by his or her own conviction, been baptized by immersion; D. Willingly confess all elements of the Pear Grove Community Church Statement of Beliefs, and; E. Submit to the paid leadership of Pear Grove Community Church in all areas.” James tried to make sense of all this, his brow furrowed as he read frantically.

“As we’ve been informed by your group member, you don’t fulfill requirement C. And, as we looked through our membership records, we see that you don’t fulfill requirement A. I’m sure you can see how our hands are tied.” He stopped to give James a chance to respond.

“Okay...so what does that mean?” James said, tearing his eyes away from the pamphlet.

Pastor Seth took a deep breath. “The good news is that this is easily fixable. We just need you to be baptized -- which we can do right now, if you’d like -- and attend membership classes the next time they’re offered.” James’ eyes widened.

“Get baptized right now? But I’ve already been baptized, why do I need to do it again?”

The senior pastor jumped back in. “You see, James, there is really no biblical basis for infant baptism. It’s just not in the text. The truth is that following Jesus is a personal decision that must be made by individuals who can profess his lordship over their life,” the senior pastor said, lightly pounding his fist on the table as he spoke.

“So what happens if I don’t get baptized?” James asked, thoughts running.

“Then you can’t teach at small group,” Pastor Seth said, looking at the senior pastor for agreement.

“Right, I understand that, but I mean what happens if I never get baptized? Do I go to hell?” Now it was Pastor Seth’s turn to go wide-eyed.

“Now, James, nobody is saying that...that’s really only God’s right to say…”

“We can’t say what will happen to man when he dies,” Pastor Seth added.

“Exactly! We just try to do what the Bible says, and it says you must be baptized by immersion as an adult,” Pastor Dave said triumphantly.

“It says that? That’s in the Bible?” James asked skeptically. Pastors Dave and Seth nodded vigorously. “Okay...and it says I need to become a member of the church?”

“The Bible doesn’t exactly say you need to become a member. But we just want to make sure you believe the same things we do, and that you’re going to agree with us about theology and stuff like that.”

“And I’m guessing one of the things you need me to agree with you is that Christians have to be baptized as adults, right?”

“Yes, we think that’s important,” Pastor Dave answered. James pursed his lips, looking toward the wall in thought. Then he took a deep breath and spoke, the words tumbling out.

“Here’s the thing: my entire family was baptized as babies at St. Paul Lutheran Church. My father was baptized as a baby. He attended that church his entire life, never hurt a fly, was the best man I’ve ever known, believed in Jesus. He died of a heart attack last year.” Pastor Dave, seeing where James was going, turned white as a sheet. James looked from Pastor Seth to Pastor Dave and back again before continuing. “Are you saying my dad is in hell because his church believed something a little different than your church believes?”

Pastor Seth fidgeted in his seat, looking at his hands. Pastor Dave cleared his throat. “Again, James, we aren’t making that judgment. We’re just saying that we want to do what the Bible says, and that means you must be baptized by immersion when you’re an adult.” An awkward silence filled the room as James processed what they were saying, and what that meant for him. Pastor Seth was the next to speak.

“We don’t want to hurry you. We understand this is a big decision. But we’ve heard that you do a great job of leading your small group and would like for you to continue that. Do you need to talk to your wife before you make your decision?” James shook his head.

“I’m not interested in baptism, or at least what you’re saying about baptism. I’m going to have to do some studying I guess...where does the Bible talk about this?” James said, rubbing his temples.

“I can send you an email that explains it in detail,” offered Pastor Seth. “So you’re saying you’ll consider it?”

“I don’t know, I’m still pretty surprised. Everyone at group said I did a good job of leading the discussion, so this feels random.” Then, as an afterthought: “Who told you I haven’t been baptized as an adult?”

“We can’t divulge that information,” Pastor Dave said with a sad smile. “I’m sorry. This person meant well, of course.”

“Sure,” James scoffed, trying not to roll his eyes. “Did this mysterious person say I wasn’t doing a good job? Or that I said something wrong?”

“No, absolutely not! Actually they spoke very highly of your leadership,” Pastor Seth said enthusiastically. “That’s why we hope you’ll take what we’re saying seriously and consider being baptized the right way.”

Pastor Dave checked his watch and stood to signal the end of the meeting. “James, could we pray for you before you leave?” James nodded, and they all folded their hands and bowed their heads. While the pastors took turns praying for “blessings” and “wisdom” and “faithfulness” for James, his mind wandered. What did I do wrong? Who tattled on me? Is this really a big deal?

James continued to ask questions as he drove home. But one thing became clear by the time he pulled into the garage: he wasn’t interested in attending Pear Grove Community Church anymore.