Biggest, Fastest, Strongest

Youth sports should be great for every kid, not just the ones who dominate.

You’re at a local youth soccer game. It’s a sports complex with seven or eight fields of varying sizes and there’s a dizzying array of brightly colored jerseys (screen-printed t-shirts, really). A host of lawnchair-carrying parents, grandparents, and friends scan the area for the field on which their child will compete. What a delightful scene!

But too often, this adrenaline-laced, exciting scene turns painful. We see parental grumbling about playing time and officiating turn into all-out yelling at coaches and officials. We see coaches lose focus on the big picture in order to win today’s game. We see one player who happens to be a foot taller than anyone else on the field score five goals while the smallest child on the team boredly sits on (and climbs on, and wallows on, and stands up on) the bench, just waiting until the final whistle that signals snack time.

Much ado has been made about the ills facing youth sports today. Too often, youth sports turn into ultra-competitive shouting matches that reward only the fastest, strongest, and biggest. While there are many ideas for how to fix problems with too-intense parents and coaches, let’s also look at how youth sports discourage some kids from playing.

Here’s the thing: kids’ bodies develop at different -- sometimes insane -- rates. If we make sports appealing to only the biggest and best, we’re in danger of missing out on some legitimate athletes later on.

Here are some clear, useful steps we can take when we consider how to make youth sports more enjoyable for a wider range of children.

1. Make the fun parts happen more often

Children are more likely to continue with sports when they have fun, and what’s more fun than being successful? I’m not necessarily advocating that we don’t keep score, call everyone a winner, or lie to kids about how good they are. But there are logistical changes we can make to ensure kids have more fun.

Let’s make the playing area as small as is realistic. When kids play soccer or basketball or volleyball or flag football, they don’t want a long, meandering jog around the field or court. They’re looking for action involving a ball. And they’re more likely to get that action when the playing area is smaller. Let more kids be closer to the action instead of spread out over an exceedingly large playing area.

Basketball hoops and volleyball nets should be as low as necessary for every kid to be able to get the ball high enough without straining. Even the weakest player should be able to get a serve over the net or a shot to hit the rim at least 75% of the time. If they can’t, the net or basket needs to be lowered.

Baseball and softball fences should be moved in and basepaths shortened as much as possible. It shouldn’t take a herculean effort from the strongest kid to throw a ball from third to first base. It shouldn’t take an outfielder five minutes to get to a ball hit in the gap.

Find the reasons sports are fun and then make those things happen as often as possible.

2. Plan exciting practices

Here’s an example of an unexciting drill: all the kids are lined up at the free-throw line/penalty kick spot/shortstop position/serving line and, one at a time, shoot/kick/field/serve the ball before running back to the end of the line to mess around with their teammates until it’s their turn again. Yawn!

Kids don’t play sports to stand in lines. It’s an incredibly inefficient use of limited practice time and only leads to boredom.

Practices should have lots of games and drills that have as many kids as possible being active. Controlled scrimmages where you’re working on a specific element of the game (who can make the most passes?); small-scale competitions (like dribble knockout); and relay races (which team can run around the bases fastest?) are all great ways to induce excitement and include as many kids as possible. The best player on the team shouldn’t be the only one having fun at practice.

3. Balance fun with learning

As I mentioned above, sports (or really anything in life) are more fun when we’re successful. But “success” means different things to different kids depending on their age, personality, and situation.

For some kids, they’ll feel successful when their team wins. Others will feel successful when they touch the ball. Others will feel successful when their coach greets them by name and gives them a high five. Others will feel successful when they get better at a certain skill.

While there are many ways kids can feel successful, there are tried and true ways to make sure they feel miserable: yelling at them, putting undue pressure on them, making fun of them, or embarrassing them. These things do nothing to make better athletes or help kids have fun.

Practices should not be unstructured hug-fests. We want players to improve and have a foundation to be great athletes as they get older. We want kids to experience the joy of mastering a skill. But in youth sports, we should understand that the main reason they play is to have fun.

4. Use equal playing time

Until fifth or sixth grade, playing time should not be based on merit. Again, if the goal is for kids to play sports for as long as possible, then we don’t want them discouraged because they only played a quarter of the game. Make a playing time chart to help you remember who has sat out in each game, or use a free program like this one. Don’t trust your memory or feelings about who has played more and whose turn it is to sit out.

Also, keep in mind what position kids are playing. I understand the temptation to put the worst player in right field for the entire game or to have the slowest kid play goalkeeper, but give every kid a chance to play the desirable positions (forward, point guard, infield, etc.). Kids notice these discrepancies and can feel jaded if they get put on the backburner.

Determine Your Purpose

Why are you involved in youth sports?

If you don’t know this answer, spend some time considering it. I know this sounds cheesy, but write it down. Open the “Notes” app on your phone and write a statement as to why you coach, direct, or volunteer.

Hopefully, your statement has something to do with allowing kids to have fun and become excellent athletes while learning life lessons in an active environment. Maybe you want your kids to develop relationships. Maybe you want them to learn about persistence and fighting through adversity.

The purpose -- unless you’re in a very specific niche like an Olympic training program -- is not to create future Division 1 athletes or to win championships. It’s not to weed out weak athletes or live vicariously through youngsters. It's not to stack youth trophies on your mantle.

If our purpose is to help as many kids as possible to become excellent athletes while learning life lessons, we should put them in situations where they can all have fun and be successful...not just the biggest, fastest, and strongest.